


Butterflies

by David3090



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 19:13:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16455704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/David3090/pseuds/David3090
Summary: TJ tries to push those thoughts away from his mind, now he wants to concentrate on doing something besides lying on the bed. He really wants a cool soda and he would also like to watch a series before going to sleep. But the feeling in the stomach and the events of today seems to have him imprisoned in bed. He cannot get up or avoid feeling the butterflies while remembering today.





	Butterflies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Intyruswestan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Intyruswestan/gifts).



> This is for Intyruswestan. thank you so much for the promt, and I’m sorry it took me so long.

And now he’s lying in bed, his mind wandering in the day he had, the day the universe had given him to him to finally do it. He had breakfast with his parents like every Saturday and they talked about the not so important things in life. When his parents went to work, TJ watched television, then, when the time approached, he took a shower and put on the clothes that made him feel less nervous. Although he knew perfectly well that the butterflies in his stomach were because of Cyrus and not his own appearance.

He remembers, that while looking in the mirror, he smiled when that thought crossed his mind. If things went as planned, today would be the perfect afternoon to finally tell Cyrus.

He also remembered that he ignored the violent movement of the butterflies in his stomach along with the feeling that everything could go wrong.

When his mind was a little calmer he went to the park, hoping that his life would not give one of those unexpected turns that always appear when he didn’t need them...

TJ tries to push those thoughts away from his mind, now he wants to concentrate on doing something besides lying on the bed. He really wants a cool soda and he would also like to watch a series before going to sleep. But the feeling in the stomach and the events of today seems to have him imprisoned in bed. He cannot get up or avoid feeling the butterflies while remembering today.

_Some hours before._

"This is going better than I expected," TJ mutters to himself, with a smile, still with the feeling in his stomach that he is trying to calm down now that he expects Cyrus to return from the bathroom. The sensation calms down a bit, but still, he can’t stop smiling like an idiot.

The afternoon in the park was fantastic, even Cyrus invited him to The Spoon when they got bored of listening to the cries of the youngest children in the park. He mentally reviewed the little speech that he invented that morning to finally confess to Cyrus. And although his mind always forces him to think about the worst scenarios, this time he would not let his mind stopped him, it would not be like those other times when in the moment of truth he cowered and did not say a single word about it.

"Do you already know what you are going to order?" When TJ hears Cyrus' voice and their eyes meet, the butterflies go crazy and he can feel his smile grow bigger, if that is possible. Then he remembers that he has to answer

"I won’t."

"Why not?" For some reason, Cyrus starts going over the menu and TJ finds it funny, because Cyrus always orders the same thing.

"I don’t have money.” He says slow and with some embarrassment and the feeling that things could be ruined can feel very strong on the back of his neck.

"I know." Perhaps the surprise is too obvious in his face and the fact that he seems somewhat offended as well. What does Cyrus mean by knowing he has no money? "For the videogame you bought, you told me a few days ago, remember?" And suddenly, his memory starts working and he remembers that Friday when he told Cyrus about the video game and the two stayed awake until four in the morning. He, playing the video game and Cyrus watching that series that Amber recommended. Both sending messages whenever they could. "And, I’ll pay."

"What? There's no way I'll let you do that!" Maybe, his voice sounds a little more dramatic than it should.

"Oh, come on," Cyrus leaves the menu on the table and looks him straight in the eyes and the damn butterflies go crazy once more. "We both know you're dying to eat a hamburger and maybe a soda," TJ looks out into the street so Cyrus can’t see his face completely. Maybe it's a stupid thing, but Cyrus remembered that for three weeks he's been dying to eat a hamburger and, usually, people never remember that kind of thing. But Cyrus does. "Please!" And at that moment it is impossible to protest.

………

"Next time I’ll pay," TJ says. He felt too full and he was afraid that the urge to vomit would appear when he began to say his speech and the butterflies would be more excited than they were now. Cyrus did not care much when TJ told him he was full and ordered two slices of lemon pie that was now on the table.

"Well, next time I'll order half of the menu." The two laugh like crazy, although they know that the comment wasn’t so funny and that laughing will make them feel even rarer after eating so much, but they do not care much.

And when they stop laughing, the two submerge once more in a world that only belongs to them, and they talk about things they have already talked and remember things they did today. Time seems to stop, the two are having fun, but soon, the night takes over the city.

Cyrus pays the bill quietly, while TJ can’t help but feel guilty, but soon he will get money and maybe, if he saves a little more, he can buy Cyrus each of the desserts from the menu. And maybe when he does, he can say he's his boyfriend.

"So," TJ says, hesitant about his words. Quickly he repasses his speech and many of the words begin to seem useless. Maybe, all he needs is to be honest, let his heart speak for him. "When will we come here again?" He knows that, at least in this first attempt, his fear was the winner. Butterflies are already going crazy with the simple expectation of knowing when they will eat together again. He needs to calm down as soon as possible. "I think next Wednesday I'll have enough money to buy you at least two milkshakes and a delicious order of baby taters." He adds, when Cyrus seems absent and confused in the darkness of the street.

"I can’t next Wednesday, TJ." He says, with a smile, as if TJ was playing a joke or something similar.

"Maybe Friday?"

"Oh, come on. You know perfectly well that next week I'll be in London. "

"What?" And in that moment, time really stopped.

………

And now, TJ was lying on bed, unable to get up and still feeling the damn butterflies in his stomach, along with emotions he did not dare to describe, but he knew there was something sad and angry and regretful.

When Cyrus realized that he had forgotten to tell him something so important, he began to apologize, but TJ felt disconnected. The perfect day, the day it seemed that the universe had given him to confess his feelings to Cyrus, once again, was snatched from his hands. He told Cyrus, almost automatically that there was no problem. He did not dare to ask how long he would be there or when they would meet again.

He gave him a hug, maybe a little longer than he had to, He wish him a good trip and he run away from there. He could not think of a better way to face everything, to do it all without wanting to scream or break something. He run away before some hurtful word could come out. It was not the first time that the universe betrayed him in that way. And deep down he knew it would not be the last one.

The heat was unbearable and the urge to scream was even worse. He wanted to stop feeling hurt, but the fact that Cyrus forgot to tell him that he would go to London for God knows how long, did not help, nor the fact that the damn butterflies kept coming up with the simple fact of thinking about him, in his name, in his stupid smile and how sad he sounded when he asked for forgiveness.

In the end, he decided to put on his headphones and listen to his playlist with the saddest songs he has. He knew that he was not going to cry and that all the mass of emotions that he was feeling weren’t going anywhere.

His phone vibrated once, the text message he did not need, from the boy who least needed to think now. This time, the butterflies stayed calm, but TJ knew they were there.

_Chocolate Chip Muffin *: Hey! I'm sorry about tonight, the truth is that I didn’t know how to tell you that I would go to London and I left it until the very last moment._

Damn, the butterflies were going crazy.

_Little Puppy *: Don’t worry. Just promise me to message me every day you're there._

_Chocolate Chip Muffin *: I promise._

It will only be a few days, he says to himself, as if the simple idea made all the emotions that won’t let him sleep disappear. As if with that idea, the thought that Cyrus will find in London a more handsome boy and so much better than himself would evaporate. As if the feeling that if he did not confess his feelings the only day the universe had lent him he would never be able to try it again, would never have existed in his head.

You are exaggerating everything, he thought, immersing himself in the sad songs, trying to ignore those thoughts that do not leave him alone. Try to concentrate on the idea that, when Cyrus returns, things will continue as they always do or even much better than before. That he will have time to gather some more money and buy him all the desserts he wants. That the butterflies will still be there and the courage to confess his feelings will not end.

He closes his eyes when the last idea crosses his mind, wishing that everything could be true.

**Author's Note:**

> *Obviously, TJ does not know what the name Cyrus has for him on his phone and visceversa.
> 
> Did I tricked you into thinking this was going to be fluff? Good.   
> At first the idea I had to make this fic was totally different. It was going to be called "Far Too Late" and although almost all the events in the story are the same, the feeling that this new version transmits is better and much closer to what I wanted to convey with the first idea, where, everything It was too sad, getting to the point where it was boring and unnecessary.  
> And, I also think that in the end, we've all been in a situation similar to TJ, where we hesitate too much to confess what we feel. And not only do I think about when we like someone, but in any applicable situation.  
> Maybe, I'm just overthinking a fic.  
> Anyway, thanks for reading. Any comment is well received.  
> And I'm still taking promts.


End file.
